Sneak Peak of The Odyssey with Samuel L. Jackson as Helen of Troy
LOS ANGELES — In what studio executives are calling “a daring subversion of Western literature,” Warner Bros. has confirmed that...
Culture
Graham Platner Comes Out as Muslim Transwoman; All Allegations Immediately Dropped
WASHINGTON — Graham Platner, who converted to Islam earlier Tuesday and saw all pending legal cases against him dismissed, announced...
Trump Unveils His Own Bust on Mount Rushmore in Surprise Ceremony
KEYSTONE, S.D. — Former and possibly future President Donald J. Trump marked Independence Day by adding his likeness to Mount...
Pope Leo will only meet with SSPX once they’re in formal schism like everyone else he meets
Vatican City — Citing long-standing papal policy, Pope Leo XIV has indicated he will only meet with leaders of the...
Zionists Perform “Give War a Chance” in Oval Office to Protest Iran Peace Deal
WASHINGTON — In a rare display of legislative-executive harmony, prominent Zionist figures Mark Levin, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX), and Sen....
King Charles Appears to Forget Human Contact Lenses During Latest Address
LONDON — In what Palace officials described as a “minor wardrobe oversight,” King Charles III delivered a measured address on...
GT’s Sydney Sweeney Supergirl Crushes Hollywood Version on Opening Weekend
HOLLYWOOD — In what industry analysts are calling a statistically improbable development, the independently produced Supergirl film from Genesius Times,...
Mamdani Organizes NYC’s Inaugural Public Stoning of Rape Victim
NEW YORK — In a landmark step toward multicultural equity, Mayor Zohran Mamdani personally oversaw the city’s inaugural public stoning...
Two Imperial AT-ATs Seen Patrolling Around Obama Presidential Center
CHICAGO – Local residents and tourists were left both awestruck and mildly concerned Tuesday after two massive Imperial AT-AT walkers...
Chicago celebrates Juneteenth by hosting 75 murders over the weekend
CHICAGO—As Juneteenth celebrations took place across the nation, Chicago decided to put its own unique spin on the holiday by...
