The Latest Trend in Detox: Eating Dirt
Are you tired of drinking green juice and eating only kale for your detox? Say goodbye to bland and boring...
Culture
Satan distances himself from Pfizer after Grammys sponsorship
HOLLYWOOD—The Prince of Darkness has denounced his Grammys ritual being sponsored by Pfizer, claiming the company "is pure evil." "I...
BREAKING: Biden posts TikTok video celebrating the end of Chinese spying
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden posted a video of him dancing on the TikTok social media platform to celebrate his ending...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
Introducing the Latest Beauty Trend: The Cactus Facial
Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to feel the prick of beauty! Introducing the latest and greatest beauty trend to hit...
Pink threatens to make pro-lifers listen to her music if they don’t start supporting abortion
Pink has taken to Twitter to send out a strong message to pro-life fans who support the recent overturning of...
Horoscope Predictions: A Guide to Intentionally Misleading Yourself
Welcome to another exciting edition of horoscope predictions! Are you tired of living in the real world and facing reality?...
Beauty Tips 101: A Guide to Looking Like a Complete Fraud
Ladies, are you tired of feeling like you're not good enough? Tired of looking in the mirror and not seeing...
AOC recommends burning books instead of using gas stoves to cook
WASHINGTON, DC—Heated remarks continue in the 'stove wars' as Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) mocked Republicans on Thursday evening for their 'meltdown' over...
