BREAKING: DC erects border wall around city to keep Texas from sending illegal immigrants there
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel "Bow Wow" Bowser has erected a border wall around the perimeter of the nation's capital to keep...
Culture
I’m going on a hunger strike if Elon Musk takes over Twitter
I haven't written in a few months because I've been paralyzed with fear that my lone outlet in the world...
SCIENCE: CIS men are actually transmen trapped in the bodies of transwomen-the most oppressed group ever
ST. LOUIS—In a new Pew Pew study that will surely lead to the self-immolation of thousands of social justice warriors,...
Biden orders all creepy Easter Bunnies to be replaced with himself
WASHINGTON, DC—During the chaos caused by Farrakhan supporter Noah Green at the US Capitol last year, Joe Biden’s handlers lost...
Spotify removes all songs about women because ‘none of these artists are biologists’
NEW YORK—Spotify is taking action to remove all hateful music about women because "none of these artists are biologists," a...
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
Chris Rock avoids all ‘appearance’ jokes with feisty crowd at Mos Eisley Cantina
TATOOINE—Star pilots crowded the Mos Eisley Cantina last Saturday night as comedian, Chris Rock opened to a sold out crowd....
Amazon’s ‘The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power’ replaces all villains with Putin
HOLLYWOOD—The multi-million dollar TV series Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is set to enlighten us in September...
BREAKING: New York passes ‘Don’t Say Biology’ bill
NEW YORK—In response to the Florida legislation dubbed the "Don't Say Gay" bill, New York has passed the "Don't Say...
