BREAKING: California streets ‘never been cleaner’ after hurricane washes away all the poop and needles
LOS ANGELES—In a curious turn of events that has left residents scratching their heads, the streets of California are reportedly...
Culture
BREAKING: Trump indictment includes charge that he failed to return a Blockbuster VHS tape in 1993
NEW YORK—A Manhattan Grand Jury has indicted former President Donald Trump for failing to return a Blockbuster video in 1993....
BREAKING: Biden finally visits Hawaii for a nice vacation upwind of devastating wildfires
In a groundbreaking move that has left both citizens and palm trees in awe, President* Biden has announced his long-awaited...
BREAKING: Diane Feinstein quits Senate to focus on hosting ‘Tales from the Crypt’
In a shocking career pivot, Senator Dianne Feinstein has announced her decision to step down from her Senate seat to...
Biden to replace all statues of white people with statues of George Floyd robbing pregnant woman
US—President* Biden signed an executive order earlier today instructing all municipalities to replace their racist statues of white people with...
Mattel offering free abortions with purchase of each Barbie movie ticket
HOLLYWOOD—In a bold marketing move that left parents everywhere questioning their sanity, toy giant Mattel has announced an unexpected promotion...
Mattel releases Booster-Shot Barbie complete with Guillain-Barre paralysis!
2022 is a big year for Barbie who is covering all sorts of new ground including the vax-positive "Booster Shot Barbie"...
POLL: How should Disney rename irredeemably racist Snow White?
It's clear the Disney's Snow White franchise is irredeemably racist and must be completely overhauled. What should we demand Disney...
BREAKING: G-D Will Destroy Portland If He Can’t Find Ten Righteous People In The City
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed that the city of Portland is in mortal danger. If G-D cannot find ten righteous people in...
Disney announces their newest princess: Colin Kaepernick
ALTA VISTA, FL—Disney has announced their newest princess, Colin Kaepernick, who will star in a new film that will “showcase...
