BREAKING: Newly pregnant AOC to have abortion on CNN to boost ratings
ATLANTA—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has agreed to appear on CNN for a special episode titled "Abortion on the Air: AOC's Decision."...
Newsbeat
WaPo can’t choose between Harris or Hitler; will stay neutral in 2024 election
In a surprising editorial move, The Washington Post has announced that it will officially remain neutral in the 2024 presidential...
BREAKING: Following interview, Brett Baier declares Harris has won Arizona
After waiting more than three and a half years, Fox News finally secured a rare, coveted interview with Vice President...
Harris Promises That Any Americans Who Die In WWIII Won’t Have To Repay Their Student Loans
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following President* Biden's plan, Vice President* Kamala Harris has assured the public that any U.S. citizens who...
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Elon Musk unveils Tesla’s Cyber-School Bus
What started off as a casual comment by Elon Musk in 2012 about wanting to build a truck has evolved into what...
BREAKING: Buttigieg requires all vehicles bringing aid to hurricane victims to be electric cars
In a bold and forward-thinking move that has left disaster relief teams scrambling, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced that...
BREAKING: North Carolina changes its name to Ukraine to get federal funding after devastating Hurricane Helene
RALEIGH, NC—In a bold move to secure desperately needed federal funding in the wake of Hurricane Helene, North Carolina Governor...
Victims of Hurricane Helene identifying as illegal immigrants so they can get some federal aid from the Biden-Harris administration
ASHVILLE, NC—Victims of Hurricane Helene in North Carolina have discovered a clever life hack: identifying as illegal immigrants in order...
BREAKING: Fans shocked that celebrities who rap about drugs, rape, and murder are actually horrible people in real life too
NEW YORK—In an absolutely unforeseen twist that has blindsided his fanbase, music mogul and notorious “Freak Off” party host P...
