BREAKING: Mayor Lightfoot outlaws shooting people in Chicago
Following increased violence in Chicago with record killings recently, Mayor Lori Lightfoot has decided to
Newsbeat
Bill Gates infuriated that they keep coming up with cheap cures to his coronavirus bioweapon
REDMOND, WA—Billionaire and Bond Supervillain Bill Gates is incresingly infuriated that doctors and health practitioners
Seattle bullies knock down little kids’ fort, take all their soy milk
SEATTLE—Several little kids went home crying to their mommies after some neighborhood bullies knocked down
Mayor Lightfoot assures us all 300 killed this year in Chicago will be able to vote by mail in November
Another 125 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend with 18 more dying. Mayor
Sting now homeless after The Police are defunded
LONDON—Musician Sting is the latest victim of the “Defund the Police” movement. “The Police need
Chicago criminals promise to stop killing everyone if the city defunds the police
CHICAGO—Hardened criminals and ruthless killers across the Chicagoland area vowed to stop being bad if
BREAKING: Political rallies are unsafe again
TULSA–After a month of political rallies being good for the public health because they help
CHAZ releases first international tourism video
The Democratic Republic of Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone (aka CHAZ/CHOP) is so far advanced that
Product marketers replace stereotypical blacks with authentic blacks to fight racism
Marketers across the country are replacing racist depictions of stereotypical blacks on their food products
Mayor Goodway caves to rioters, arrests Chase for being un-pawsome
ADVENTURE BAY—Mayor Goodway has caved to the demands of rioters threatening the entire city and