Mayor reminds citizens to wear BLM gear when burning city so the FBI won’t investigate
PORTLAND, OR—City officials urged that rioters proudly display their Black Lives Matter gear while burning
Newsbeat
BREAKING: Female cop ‘accidentally’ pulls hairdryer instead of gun
MINNEAPOLIS—Minneapolis police officer Samantha Everett was involved in an altercation with an armed suspect Saturday
Walmart opens new riot section in all of its stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special rioting section
LIMITED TIME ONLY: Get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike stores if you use promo #racialjustice
MINNEAPOLIS—For a limited time only, residents can get 100% discount at Minneapolis Nike store when
BREAKING: Biden makes it illegal to arrest any Person of Color for any crime ever
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the trial of Derek Chauvin who was charged with making George Floyd “eat
Jordan Peterson turns 5 copies of ’12 Rules for Life’ into 5,000
TORONTO- Upon returning to campus following a lengthy sabbatical, University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson
BREAKING: Biden outlaws guns for everyone except criminals and people guarding him
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden today signed several executive orders outlawing guns for everyone except for criminals
Lightfoot reminds Chicagoans to mask up this weekend to keep everyone safe while shooting each other
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, reminding Chicagoans to wear a mask this weekend
BREAKING: FBI has evidence of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors
WASHINGTON, DC–The FBI has photographic and video evidence of Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL) participating in
Local stores completely sold out of 9mm vaccine passports
SPRINGFIELD—All area stores have completely sold out if their supply of 9mm vaccine passports amid