BREAKING: Trump bombs Iran so that he can get a Nobel Peace Prize like Obama
In a bold move to secure lasting global recognition, President Donald J. Trump authorized precision airstrikes on multiple Iranian military...
Newsbeat
Dan Bongino Takes Break from Ignoring Elite Child-Eating Sex-Traffickers to Call Out Candace Owens for Horrifyingly Saying Stuff
In yet another masterclass of selective outrage, former Secret Service agent and current podcast impresario Dan Bongino has once again...
Pam Bondi’s Pedometer Stuck On ‘0’ Despite Busy Day of Pacing the Halls of Justice
Washington, D.C. — In a development that has left fitness trackers across the capital utterly perplexed, U.S. Attorney General Pam...
SHOCK: Former Prince Andrew Has Tragically Died in Car Crash Next Week
LONDON – In a development that has left the globe reeling with predictable astonishment, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor—formerly known to the world...
Mitch McConnell blinks twice to indicate vehement opposition to SAVE America Act
Washington, D.C. — In a dramatic escalation of nonverbal parliamentary procedure, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) today registered his...
Democrats Slam Trump Over Alarming Plunge in Murder Rate Across the Country
WASHINGTON — Party leaders expressed grave concern today as fresh data revealed the national murder rate has plummeted to levels...
UNBREAKING NEWS: The shooter wasn’t a white CIS-gendered male so we’re going to stop covering this story
In a rare display of journalistic restraint, major news networks announced this morning that they would be immediately ceasing all...
BREAKING: FBI arrests ███ ████ after it appears 6 million times in the Epstein Files
WASHINGTON — In what officials are calling the largest single-entity criminal conspiracy in modern American history, the FBI's Special Redaction...
Trump gains liberal support by renaming ICE ‘Planned Citizenship’
In an appeal to pro-choice progressives protesting the detention center at the Mexican border, President Trump has renamed the US...
BREAKING: Amid Horrific Epstein Revelations, Bondi Vows Indictments for more Pet Squirrel Owners
WASHINGTON — With the latest batch of Jeffrey Epstein files revealing horrific crimes by world elites, Attorney General Pam Bondi...
