BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow
WASHINGTON — Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) died tomorrow afternoon at approximately 3:17 p.m. Eastern Time, according to a statement released...
Newsbeat
Europe Horrified That Attacker Wasn’t CIS White Man
EUROPE—Officials, media commentators, and progressive advocacy groups reacted with visible dismay this week after authorities confirmed that the individual responsible...
Britons Horrified to Learn UK Rape Gangs Have Been Using Air Conditioning
LONDON — Ordinary Britons expressed shock and outrage Tuesday upon discovering that grooming gangs operating across the United Kingdom have...
Ewoks have taken over the Obama Presidential Center and have disarmed the shield generator
CHICAGO — A detachment of Ewoks has assumed operational control of the Obama Presidential Center, officials confirmed Tuesday, after the...
Chicago celebrates Juneteenth by hosting 75 murders over the weekend
CHICAGO—As Juneteenth celebrations took place across the nation, Chicago decided to put its own unique spin on the holiday by...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Overturns Iran Peace Deal, Orders U.S. to Resume Bombing
WASHINGTON — A federal district judge in Texas struck down the 2025 Iran Nuclear Peace Accord late Monday, ruling the...
Karmelo Anthony is The Felon of Troy
Frisco, Texas — In what scholars of classical literature are already calling a bold reinterpretation of Homeric epic, Karmelo Anthony...
Belfast ravaged by climate change following migrant attack
BELFAST—PSNI Assistant Chief Constable Siobhan Murphy told reporters: “We are monitoring a number of incidents involving fire. However, it is...
Sentenced to 35 Years in Jail? Ask Your Doctor About ‘Not Murdering People for No Good Reason’
As a physician with over 25 years in clinical practice, I see patients every day who are struggling with the...
After Belfast Beheading Attempt, Officials Warn Against Backlash Towards Peaceful Beheaders
Belfast – Following a determined but unsuccessful attempt to saw off a man's head with a large knife in broad...
