BREAKING: Federal Judge Overturns President Trump’s Claim That He’s Still Alive
WASHINGTON, DC—Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has formally overturned President Donald J. Trump’s repeated statements that he is “alive and well,”...
Newsbeat
Chicago proves it doesn’t need National Guard by only killing 7 and injuring 54 over weekend
In a bold display of civic pride, Chicago residents celebrated the city’s decision to keep the National Guard at bay...
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
CNN: The attacker was not a white MAGA Christian male so we’re not going to report on it
ATLANTA—In a stunning display of journalistic efficiency, CNN announced today that it would immediately cease coverage of a breaking news...
AOC: The Minneapolis school shooting didn’t really happen because there are no guns allowed at schools
In the aftermath of what has been reported as a tragic event at Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, I find...
BREAKING: FBI Raids John Bolton’s Mustache in Pre-Dawn Operation
In a stunning escalation of federal overreach, the FBI conducted a dramatic 4 a.m. raid on former National Security Advisor...
CNN: Trump Poised to Invade Washington DC in Alarming Escalation
In what experts are calling “the most dangerous moment in American history since the last time Trump was president,” Donald...
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell has tragically committed suicide next week
NEW YORK–In a shocking turn of events, Ghislaine Maxwell, co-conspirator to Jeffrey Epstein, has tragically killed herself next week. Maxwell...
BREAKING: FBI conclude that Jeffrey Epstein never existed
In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation has announced that Jeffrey Epstein, the disgraced financier and...
BREAKING: The FBI finally done scrubbing video to make it look like no one entered Jeffrey Epstein’s cell the night he was suicided
NEW YORK—In a stunning display of transparency and technological wizardry, the FBI has released what it claims is the definitive,...
