Clinton: ‘I did not have sexual relations with that plane’
Former President Bill Clinton denied knowing anything about the “terrible crimes” allegedly committed by billionaire
Newsbeat
Fauci: You must give yourself a swirly to prevent catching the coronavirus
Are you prepared to do your part in combating the coronavrius epidemic? The esteemed expert
Lori Lightfoot blames Chicago gun violence on gas pumps failing to print receipts
Just today, Mayor of Chicago Lori Lightfoot reveals the exact cause of the mass murders
Local man eaten by plant that grew from mysterious Chinese seeds
PROVO, UT—A local man, Harry S. Truman (no relation to the president), was eaten alive
BREAKING: Biden replaces Secret Service detail with super friendly social workers
WASHINGTON DC–A longtime proponent of “redirecting” police funds, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is
Having not found 5 righteous people in Chicago, Trump orders a surge of fire and brimstone
President Donald Trump, having not found even 5 righteous people in the city of Chicago,
BREAKING: Mayor Lightfoot outlaws shooting people in Chicago
Following increased violence in Chicago with record killings recently, Mayor Lori Lightfoot has decided to
Bill Gates infuriated that they keep coming up with cheap cures to his coronavirus bioweapon
REDMOND, WA—Billionaire and Bond Supervillain Bill Gates is incresingly infuriated that doctors and health practitioners
Seattle bullies knock down little kids’ fort, take all their soy milk
SEATTLE—Several little kids went home crying to their mommies after some neighborhood bullies knocked down
Mayor Lightfoot assures us all 300 killed this year in Chicago will be able to vote by mail in November
Another 125 people were shot in Chicago over the weekend with 18 more dying. Mayor
