BREAKING: Iranian Army Marches Across Southern U.S. Border, Claiming Asylum
US BORDER—An unexpected group has joined the ranks of asylum-seekers at the southern U.S. border – none other than the...
Politics
BREAKING: Pilot of drone that accidentally killed 3 American service members identified
WASHINGTON, DC—The pilot of the drone that accidentally killed three American service men in Jordan has been identified as President*...
AOC: Thousands of ducks are killed each day to make duck tape. It needs to end!
Hello, beautiful Earth warriors! It's your friendly neighborhood AOC here, and today, I need to talk to you about a...
Joe Biden seeks to be the first US president to start a world war and a civil war in the same year
President* Joe Biden has reportedly decided to make history by simultaneously kickstarting both World War III and a Civil War,...
NYC to replace Thomas Jefferson statue with a statue of George Floyd robbing a pregnant woman at gunpoint
NEW YORK CITY—In a bold move toward modernizing public spaces, New York City has announced plans to replace the statue...
Texas Razorwire Allowed To Stay After it Identifies As a Harmless Slinky
In a baffling yet oddly poetic turn of events, the controversial razor wire lining the Texas border has declared its...
BREAKING: Biden federalizes Texas National Guard troops, sends them to defend Ukraine’s border
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unexpected twist that could rival the most intricate spy novel, President Joe Biden has taken a decisive...
BREAKING: After seeing border crisis first hand in Texas, Biden promises to send $20B more to secure Ukraine’s border
EL PASO—President* Joe Biden walked a muddy stretch of the U.S.-Mexico border and inspected a busy port of entry Sunday on his...
Biden Warns U.S. Constitution Is Likely ‘Russian Disinformation’
WASSHINGTON, DC—In a jaw-dropping revelation that has left legal scholars and history enthusiasts bewildered, President Joe Biden took to the...
TX Gov Abbott installs more razor wire along the Southern border to halt the catastrophic effects of climate change
EAGLE PASS, TX—In a groundbreaking move that has left both environmentalists and immigration advocates scratching their heads, Texas Governor Greg...
