Pam Bondi’s Pedometer Stuck On ‘0’ Despite Busy Day of Pacing the Halls of Justice
Washington, D.C. — In a development that has left fitness trackers across the capital utterly perplexed, U.S. Attorney General Pam...
Tech
Mobile Shopping Trends Transforming E-Commerce
Mobile Shopping Trends Transforming E-Commerce Mobile shopping did not just make online purchases more convenient. It changed how people think...
BREAKING: Google office quarantined after someone was wished a ‘Merry Christmas’
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The Google Headquarters shut down Monday after a delivery man cheerfully wished a receptionist a "Merry Christmas". All...
Congratulations to Portugal and Spain on accidentally achieving net zero before 2050
Lisbon/Madrid, April 29, 2025 – In a plot twist that has left climate scientists dumbfounded, tech bros unemployed, and candle...
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries
In a surreal twist of environmental activism, a group of climate warriors calling themselves "GreenSmoke Revolution" staged a fiery protest...
Following Katy Perry’s all-woman space flight, Elon Musk offers ‘The View’ Hosts an all-woman one-way ticket to deep space
Cape Canaveral, FL – Fresh off the heels of Katy Perry’s much-hyped all-woman space flight, which saw the pop star...
Lyft launches ‘Forklyft’: the Ride-Sharing Service for the Morbidly Obese
In an unexpected twist following the recent lawsuit filed by Detroit rapper Dank Demoss against Lyft, the ride-sharing giant has...
Liberal projectile tears found to be the source of water on the moon
For hundreds of years, researchers and explorers have failed to find evidence of water on the Moon. But just recently...
Fact-checkers deny claims that Mark Zuckerberg is putting an end to fact-checkers
MENLO PARK, CA — In a twist that could only be described as a plotline from a dystopian tech thriller,...
BREAKING: American Airlines to use flying reindeer to pull airplanes amid technical glitch
American Airlines has announced that their fleet will temporarily be powered by flying reindeer after a catastrophic software glitch grounded...
