Pope Leo says Orcs and Hobbits can be ‘friends’ and ‘murderous Orcs are just misunderstood’
VATICAN CITY – In a surprise move that has left both Middle-earth scholars and the College of Cardinals reaching for...
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FOR SALE: Totally Legitimate High-Speed Offshore Fishing Vessel – $175,000 OBO
Tired of slow, boring boats that actually catch fish? Looking for something with real zip that can outrun literally anything...
Gen Z Olympics: Dutch Unknown Casually Scrolls Past Germany to Win Inaugural 200 m Doomscroll Gold
PARIS (GT) – In a result that has left German sports psychologists quietly scheduling emergency sessions, an unheralded 23-year-old from...
BREAKING: Keir Starmer orders arrest of everyone who says the UK doesn’t have free speech
UK—UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer has announced a sweeping new policy to “defend the sacred principle of free speech” by...
Thousands of Muslims Flock to America to Enjoy the Exquisite Torment of Systematic Islamophobia
In a stunning reversal of historical migration patterns, thousands of Muslims from war-torn, dictator-ruled, or simply boring countries have begun...
Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to not be a bigot on Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you're a Nazi bigot, so that's why most woke cultures and municipalities...
Columbus Day: Leftists Are Protesting Immigrant Who Brought Diversity to America
US—Progressive activists have taken to the streets to denounce Christopher Columbus—an Italian immigrant who, ironically, kickstarted one of the most...
Pro-Palestinian protesters demand genocide continue until someone besides Trump can negotiate peace plan
Gaza City, October 10, 2025 — In a bold display of political purity, a coalition of Pro-Palestinian activists has issued...
Highlights from the 2025 Housework Olympics
In a surprising blend of satire and spectacle, the 2025 Housework Olympics kicked off at the Michelob Ultra Arena during...
Fans Thank Pope As Beer Cooler Ice Remains Unmelted After ‘Ice Blessing’
VATICAN CITY – In a move hailed as the greatest papal intervention since the invention of the fish fry, Pope...
