DENVER, CO—Constantly standing with her back to the Rocky Mountains, Susan Keller remains confident there are no mountains in Colorado and is eager to ridicule anyone who suggests otherwise.
“There is absolutely no evidence of a mountain,” Keller told reporters. “It’s been debunked.”
A crowd gathered to persuade Ms Keller the Rockies exist. They stood beside her, pointing directly at the mountain, yelling, “It’s right there, just look at it!”
Susan responded by refusing to look at the 3,000 mile long geological formation behind her and sternly told them they are in a cult.
Susan is part of a growing movement which claim to care about map integrity yet deny the mountain’s existence. The group rejects all documentation, sworn affidavits, whistleblowers, video, photographs and natural impossibilities that challenge their belief the Rocky Mountains do not exist.
Community members offered to hire a surveyor to map and measure the land to prove the mountain exists but Susan insisted that would be a waste of money. “Fascists need to cope and accept that there is no mountain.”
“If there was a mountain of evidence I would be able to see it,” Keller said, putting on a blindfold. “But I don’t, so obviously it doesn’t exist.”