WASHINGTON, DC—In a clever move, Senate Democrats are planning to use the filibuster to keep Republicans from blocking the Democrats from killing the filibuster.

The move was necessary after Democratic Senators Joe Manchin (W.Va.) and Kyrsten Sinema (Ariz.) agreed side with the 50 Republicans to preserve the filibuster.

“The filibuster is racist,” Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said. “Therefore, I’m going to use the filibuster to kill it.”

Democrats are planning on suppressing the vote of Manchin and Sinema in order to fight voter suppression in Republican states.

Schumer later admitted, “I actually don’t have any idea what a filibuster is. But everything I don’t like is racist, so the filibuster is racist. But I’m not racist by using the filibuster, only Republicans are.”

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts