President Biden’s press secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, has become notorious for deflecting questions from or giving non-answers to members of the press on a consistent basis. She’s incapable of answering even the most basic of questions, which is especially concerning since her big book of talking-points is even larger than Webster’s Dictionary. That being said, here are ten times Biden’s press secretary couldn’t answer questions from the press:

1. CNN: “Does 2 + 2 = 4?” Jean-Pierre: “That question is beyond the scope of this briefing, so I’ll refer you to the Department of Education.”
2. Fox News: “Does the sun rise in the east?” Jean-Pierre: “I can’t comment on ongoing movements of the sun, so you’ll have to direct your question to NASA.”
3. Washington Post: “Is it the daytime or nighttime right now?” Jean-Pierre: “I’ve been very clear that you should direct your question to the National Weather Service.”
4. Associated Press: “What time is it?” Jean-Pierre: “You’re asking me to disclose very confidential information which I obviously cannot. The Department of Time should be able to answer your question.”
5. The Hill: “What’s your position on theoretical physicists?” Jean-Pierre: “I can’t comment on physicists who don’t exist, so you’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
6. New York Times: “Is it ok to eat with your mouth open?” Jean-Pierre: “That’s a difficult question to answer, but I’m sure the CDC can give you guidance on that.”
7. Daily Caller: “What was the name of the boat in the Titanic movie?” Jean-Pierre: “I never watched that movie before so I think you’re better off asking someone who did.”
8. NPR: “Does money grow on trees?” Jean-Pierre: “You should consult with a professional arborist to get more information on that.”
9. USA Today: “How does President Biden’s accomplishments match up to President Rushmore’s?” Jean-Pierre: “I never heard of that president before so I can’t comment. I think the National Archives should have records on this.”
10. CBS News: “How long does it take for twins to be born?” Jean-Pierre: “I’m not a O/B, but I think it might be 18 months. I would recommend you to the American Medical Association for more insight on this.”

So there you have it, folks.

About Author

Rafi Metz

Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.

If you’d like to support my daily satirical outbursts, donations are always welcome by clicking here.

See author's posts