TORONTO—Dozens of fake cardboard and mannequin sports fans have died from COVID-19 since being used to make sports look somewhat meaningful without real fans.
“Just put fake fans in the stands, they said. It’ll be all right, they said. Well, it’s not all right. Those poor cardboard fans are dying left and right,” Billy McGuinness of the National 10th Man Association said.
It hasn’t been proven, but it’s likely that the fake fans contracted the deadly disease while fake cheering at the ball park.
“Only some of them were wearing a mask and none of them put their hands that special magical way that Dr. Anthony Fauci did to protect everyone from COVID,” MGuinness said. “It’s a bloodbath.”
Sports leagues such as MLB and the NFL have implemented the fake fans to replace all the real fans due to COVID restrictions and because no one wants to pay hundreds of dollars to be called racist by the woke millionaires.
“I don’t know what we’re going to do with all these dead fake fans. At least we can start social distancing the fake fans to make it safer for them,” McGuinness added.