Hundreds get alcohol poisoning playing the White House COVID-19 Press Brief Drinking Game

Everyone is homebound. Well almost. After taking some walks, binge-watching every Netflix series ever produced since 1950, and buying enough Toilet Paper for a decade what’s next?

Of course, we all look forward to the White House Daily Task Force Briefing. At least Vice President Mike Pence isn’t shoving that little sign in our faces anymore. Even better, Dr. Fauci isn’t always there, so we can stop slitting our wrists every time he tells us it’s gonna get worse until it can’t get any worse and there’s no treatment so it’s even worse than we thought. Optimism isn’t his strong suit. Can we all agree on that?

Has anyone ever actually died of boredom? Something tells me we’re about to find out. After you’ve ‘bonded’ with as every family member as our mediamorons suggest, then what?

Some people have come up with a way to pass time that seems a bit more fun, unproductive maybe, but fun. A group of say 10-20 people get together online during the Task Force Meeting. Every time they hear the words, “Data,” “Data-Driven,” or “Granular” they down a shot of 151 Rum. Several GT correspondents took part in this game. None have been heard from as of this writing. Of course, that could be because most correspondents are homeless alcoholics.

Unfortunately, this game has resulted in thousands of hospitalizations across the country, overtaking COVID-19.