Poor Amy K. hasn’t been doing all that well in the polls. Nobody has ever heard of her, nobody knows who she is now and tomorrow she’ll be gone if something isn’t done immediately. Desperate times call for desperate measures as they say. In a Democratic field full of rich old white people, Amy looks to stand out.
Amy has received some calls recently from some old friends who previously were a bit reluctant to come forward until her poll numbers went into the toilet. Before her chances are flushed, some advice and wisdom have been offered.
Her good friend Gov. Ralph Northam wrote, “Just heard of your poll numbers. I know your face is a total unknown to many so here’s an idea. Like me; just go blackface. Be the only Black woman still in the race. Take Oprah as your running mate and you’re a shoo-in. If anyone gives you a hard time tell ’em you have ‘reverse vitiligo’, a rare disorder seen primarily in Wisconsin Cheese Farmers. It comes and goes and usually lasts until early November.”
Shortly after the letter from Gov. Northam was received, she received a call from Justin Trudeau, “Ay, heard of yur numbers. They suck. So here’s what I’d do; just go blackface. But additionally, change your name to Michelle O’Bama. People will think you’re a Black Irishman, and confuse you with Michelle Obama. Take Queen Latifa as running mate and boom, you’re in. Call me if you need any blackface makeup. I’ve got tons left over from last time.”
Update: the plot failed as evidently, the one thing a liberal politician can do to be ignored by mainstream media and social justice warriors is to wear blackface.