Local liberal Nathan Fizzle is completely flummoxed.
After a mass shooting last year, he thought he had the solution: he would post ‘no firearms’ signs around town. That way, people would know they’re not allowed to bring guns into the areas designated “firearm-free”.
But then some psychopathic monster brought guns into his gun-free zone and started shooting people and no one was able to defend himself.
“I was pretty sure I made it clear with my signs that guns weren’t allowed in this area,” Fizzle said. “It just a mystery as to why these criminals can completely disregard my no firearms signs.”
Fizzle intends to create large flashing neon “No Firearms” signs to replace the plastic ones that didn’t work.
“I just don’t get it. Can they not read?”