NEW YORK—Modern Führer Magazine’s March issue focuses on emerging Führer, Canada’s, Justin Trudeau. The son of late dictator, Pierre Trudeau of Canada, ‘Baby T’ now holds the reins and the magazine runs the ‘Führer Checklist’ to see how many boxes get ticked off… in Justin’s case, a big 4. They list them as such.
1). Invokes emergency powers using antiquated law taking control of financial institutions, banks, insurance companies, and confiscating property.
2). Use of para-military forces to control protests. On February 16, Canadian Mounties descended on Freedom Convoy truckers protesting on Ottawa’s Parliment Hill, physically removing them.
3). Arrest of political opposition, among them Tamara Lich, February 18 and other leaders
4). Powers enable government to block public assembly and crush dissent.
In lighter news, another featured article from the magazine:
Top Ten signs your husband might be a Fuhrer
10). Loves his Panzer Pajamas
9). Refers to the kids as ‘my little Luftwaffe’
8). Frequent calls to someone in Italy named Benito
7). Always wants to vacation at Mein Kampfland
6). Loves Blitzkrieg BBQ sauce on his Schnitzel
5). Always wants to get a bigger house
4). Favorite cereal is ‘Sugar Swastikas’
3). Keeps repeating ‘Nein, mein, nein, mein.
2). When passing gas says “Pull my Zyklon -B”
1). Sore loser playing the game – Risk