MINNEAPOLIS — Millions across America reminisced about the happy and peaceful time just a week ago when the only worries were a deadly pandemic and murder hornets.
“Now, we gotta worry about police killing everybody and activists looting Target and burning random buildings to the ground,” Monique Johnson said. “I really miss the days of just worrying about catching a deadly plague and being chased by 2-inch stinging insects. Those were the days!”
Officials have declared the entire country a disaster zone as race riots engulfed every major city.
“We have food shortages due to a disruption in the supply chain, we have record unemployment, and cops senselessly killing people while being recorded. It’s a mess,” Johnson added as she longingly looked off into the distance.
Pepperidge Farms is releasing a short run commercial “Pepperidge Farms Remembers the Good Old Days of Coronapocalypse,” to capitalize on the newfound nestalgia.