Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
Local Wife Poised to Win Husband’s Fantasy Football League Again After Making Zero Moves All Season 
McConnell Eyes Next Week for First Senate Appearance Since Dying Eight Weeks Ago 
Trump Orders Lake Michigan Renamed ‘Lake Big Mike’ In Honor of Former First Lady
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that he will issue an executive order renaming Lake Michigan “Lake Big Mike,”...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Girl Scouts Replace Entire Cookie Line With Halal Falafel Delight
NEW YORK — Girl Scouts of the United States of America announced Wednesday that every traditional cookie variety will be...
Girl Scouts Roll Out Merit Burkas
NEW YORK — Girl Scouts of the United States of America announced Tuesday two new badges intended to broaden participation...
Target Pulls All Products from Shelves After Review Finds Everything Could Be Seen as Racist
MINNEAPOLIS — Target said Thursday it will remove all merchandise from its stores and website after an expanded cultural-risk review...
Marco Rubio Tapped to Succeed Dolly Parton Following Her Passing
WASHINGTON — Secretary of State Marco Rubio has been formally tasked with assuming the cultural and entertainment duties previously held...
50-Year-Old Peyton Manning Commits to LSU from Transfer Portal
BATON ROUGE, La. — In a move that has sent shockwaves through the college football landscape, former NFL quarterback Peyton...
Massachusetts Passes Law Forcing Women to Have at Least 2 Abortions Before Giving Birth to Any Babies
BOSTON — Massachusetts lawmakers approved legislation Tuesday requiring every woman in the state to obtain at least two abortions prior...
WNBA Bans All Biologists From Arenas During Games
In a move described by league officials as necessary to protect player safety and “lived experience,” the Women’s National Basketball...
Woman Who Strangled Her Three Children Surges to Lead in 2028 Democratic Presidential Polls
US — A previously little-known defendant currently awaiting trial on three counts of first-degree murder, Lindsay Clancy, has vaulted into...
POLL: Men, which would you rather leave your children with—a modern feminist or a bear?
After years of being told that women feel safer in the woods with a bear than with a random man,...
