Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
Local Wife Poised to Win Husband’s Fantasy Football League Again After Making Zero Moves All Season 
McConnell Eyes Next Week for First Senate Appearance Since Dying Eight Weeks Ago 
Woke Nike Execs Hold Screaming Session to Determine Why Their Stock is Plummeting
BEAVERTON, Ore. — A group of Nike executives left campus Monday for a wooded offsite, wearing coordinated yoga pants, to...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Trump Renames Labor Day ‘Capital Day,’ Says Without Capital, Labor is Just Slavery
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced early Monday that Labor Day would henceforth be known as Capital Day, a change...
Trump Says Reports of New Hairdo Are a Hoax
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — President Donald Trump said Sunday that Americans who believe he has changed his hair —...
AOC Picks Lindsay Clancy as 2028 Presidential Running Mate
QUEENS — Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez named Lindsay Clancy her 2028 running mate on Saturday and unveiled a slogan aides said...
Lone Lindsay Clancy Jury Holdout Seen Leaving Courthouse After Trial
PLYMOUTH, Mass. — The Lindsay Clancy murder trial ended Friday in a mistrial after one juror declined to join the...
Trump Renames Everything ‘America’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Friday terminated all U.S. foreign aid after signing an executive order that renames Earth...
Netfux Presents ‘12 Angry Karens: The Lindsay Clancy Trial’: Twelve voices. One hallucination
LOS ANGELES — Netfux on Thursday premiered 12 Angry Karens: The Lindsay Clancy Trial, a limited series the streamer describes...
Harvey Weinstein Released After Changing Plea to Guilty by Reason of Hormones
NEW YORK — Sexual Assault convict Harvey Weinstein was released from custody Thursday after a court accepted a revised plea...
BREAKING: Derek Chauvin Comes Out as Postpartum Woman and Hormones Made Him Do It; All Charges Vacated
MINNEAPOLIS — Derek Chauvin announced Thursday that he is a postpartum woman and that he mystically gave birth to George...
Clancy Jury Still Deadlocked After Women Jurors Spend Four Days to Decide Where to Go for Lunch
PLYMOUTH, Mass. — Important things. The jury in the Lindsay Clancy murder trial returned to court Wednesday still unable to...
