BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony 
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love 
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation 
AOC: Republicans are trying to rig elections by only allowing US citizens to vote 
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo 
Democratic lawmakers are furious that they have to follow laws
RICHMOND, Va. — Democratic leaders in Virginia voiced profound disappointment Tuesday following a state Supreme Court ruling that struck down...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Evangelicals Update the Bible: ‘Thou Shalt Have No Graven Images…Except If It’s Gold Plated and Owns the Libs’
DORAL, FL — Following a solemn blessing ceremony at Trump National Doral Miami, evangelical leaders announced a long-overdue clarification to...
If we just give all students A’s for everything, there would be much less failing in schools
For far too long, our education system has been a factory of disappointment, churning out “failures” like it’s still 1952....
NBA Unveils Most Valuable Flopper Trophy for Western Conference Semifinals Winner
NEW YORK — The National Basketball Association announced Tuesday the creation of the Most Valuable Flopper Award, to be presented...
Israel Celebrates US-Iran Peace Plan by Bombing the Hell Out of Lebanon
TEL AVIV — Israeli officials announced Thursday that a landmark peace initiative with Iran would be moving forward, marking the...
Kamala Harris Taps AOC as 2028 Running Mate: It’s a No Brainer
WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Kamala Harris announced Tuesday that Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will join her as the vice presidential...
Cinco de Mayo: Celebrating The Three Brave Americans Who Defeated El Guapo at the Battle of Santa Poco to give Mexico its Independence
SANTA POCO, MEXICO — As the world prepares to consume record amounts of guacamole and lime-flavored malt beverages, historians are...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Jerry Jabba Jr., jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying, "If I...
Judge Overturns Cole Allen’s Failed Assassination Attempt, Grants Him Chance to Retry
WASHINGTON — In a landmark ruling Tuesday, U.S. Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui vacated the unsuccessful assassination attempt in the criminal...
Trump Announces Targeted Bombing of the Critical Infrastructure of Sen John Thune
WASHINGTON — Donald Trump declared Tuesday that the United States will launch targeted bombing campaigns against key infrastructure controlled by...
