Trump Orders All Israel Pride Flags to Be Flown at Half-Mast in Honor of Lindsey Graham’s Passing 
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Dies After Accidentally Uttering the Word “Peace” 
Travis Kelce Announces Pregnancy Just Days after Marrying Taylor Swift 
Sneak Peak of The Odyssey with Samuel L. Jackson as Helen of Troy 
Senate Republicans Report McConnell ‘Fully Engaged,’ ‘Eager to Return’ 
Trump Unveils His Own Bust on Mount Rushmore in Surprise Ceremony
KEYSTONE, S.D. — Former and possibly future President Donald J. Trump marked Independence Day by adding his likeness to Mount...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Tucker Carlson Launches New ‘Everything Trump Promised He Would Do’ Party
WASHINGTON — Conservative commentator Tucker Carlson announced the formation of a new political party Thursday, promising to finally deliver on...
AOC Sets Apartment Thermostat to 68 Degrees, Killing Six in France
PARIS — Six French citizens died amid a record heatwave in the capital this week, an event Paris Mayor Anne...
JD Vance Scores Both Goals in USMNT’s 2-0 World Cup Win Over Bosnia and Herzegovina
SAN FRANCISCO — Vice President JD Vance netted a brace Wednesday night, powering the United States Men’s National Team to...
Britons Horrified to Learn UK Rape Gangs Have Been Using Air Conditioning
LONDON — Ordinary Britons expressed shock and outrage Tuesday upon discovering that grooming gangs operating across the United Kingdom have...
If You’re Born Here, You’re a Citizen—Unless You’re an American, in Which Case You’re a Colonizer on Stolen Land
In these enlightened times, we have finally moved beyond the crude, outdated notion that birthplace confers belonging. Or rather, we...
Supreme Court Rules Babies Born in the Hospital are Automatically Licensed to Practice Medicine
Washington — In a landmark 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court held Tuesday that any child born within the confines of...
Pope Leo will only meet with SSPX once they’re in formal schism like everyone else he meets
Vatican City — Citing long-standing papal policy, Pope Leo XIV has indicated he will only meet with leaders of the...
BREAKING: Supreme Court Decides 250 Years Is ‘Long Enough’ for America
WASHINGTON—In a narrowly divided 6-3 ruling Thursday, the Supreme Court held that the United States has enjoyed a sufficient run...
BREAKING: Macron Bans Heatwaves from France
PARIS — In a decisive move to combat extreme weather, the French government under President Emmanuel Macron has issued a...
