We must absolutely BELIEVE ALL WOMEN (except for Lindsay Clancy when she says she did it) 
Mom delays toddler-induced fit of rage until she can set up camera to capture it for TikTok 
Airports Installing Aztec Human Sacrifice Stations Beside Muslim Foot-Washing Facilities 
Harry and Meghan Acquire New Wardrobe for Return to UK 
Biblical Scholars Conclude Fourth Horsemen of the Apocalypse Was a Feminist 
Odd: Joint Base Lindsey Graham Only Has Rear Entrance
WASHINGTON — The Department of War formally dedicated Joint Base Lindsey Graham on Monday, marking what officials called a historic...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
WNBA to Change Name to W+MPTBWNBA to be Totally Inclusive
NEW YORK — In a move described by league officials as both overdue and inevitable, the Women’s National Basketball Association...
Senate Narrowly Avoids Doing Anything Productive Before August Recess
WASHINGTON — The United States Senate on Friday successfully averted a late-session outbreak of legislative productivity, clearing the way for...
WNBA Fans Quietly Optimistic About Biological Men Joining League, Citing Hope for Watchable Basketball
A growing number of WNBA supporters have begun expressing cautious enthusiasm for the prospect of biological males competing in the...
It’s Last Chance for Iran Day…Again
WASHINGTON — Diplomats and officials confirmed this week that the United States and its partners have once more reached the...
Khan promises to ban knives ‘harder’ after latest London knife attack
London Mayor Sadiq Khan has promised to ban knives harder after the latest terrorist knife attack in London. "Killing people...
Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores
NEW YORK — Mayor Zohran Mamdani unveiled a new policy Monday requiring all shoppers at city-owned grocery stores to present...
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire
SPOKANE, Wash. — A 37-year-old man charged with starting a wildfire near Spokane told investigators that climate change induced a...
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow
WASHINGTON — Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) died tomorrow afternoon at approximately 3:17 p.m. Eastern Time, according to a statement released...
WNBA to start all games with Caitlin Clark receiving 5 fouls for getting punched in the face
INDIANAPOLIS — The WNBA has instructed referees to facilitate a formal lineup of opposing players who will punch Caitlin Clark...
