Tennessee Hires Dr. Hillarsky Clintonsky to Finish the Job After Two Botched Lethal Injections 
NFL Teams Lining Up to Draft The Cornell 7 
Iran Graciously Lets Democrats Use Their Trademarked slogan “Death to America” for 2026 midterm Election 
Macron Caught Playing Lute As France Burns to the Ground 
WNBA Bans All Fans From Games After One Pointed at A’ja Wilson 
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider
WASHINGTON, DC—Donald Trump has announced that the Genesius Times will replace CNN as the official White House Fake News provider....
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local Mother Threatens to Move Kids to Massachusetts If They Don’t Start ‘Behaving Right Now!’
US—A local mother announced Friday that continued disorderly conduct by her children will result in the family’s immediate relocation to...
Cleveland Retires ‘Racist’ Browns Name; Changes to Cleveland Turds
CLEVELAND — The National Football League has granted the Cleveland Browns permission to place a brown turd emoji on both...
By Securing Greenland, Trump Will Now Get A +5 Troop Bonus Every Turn
WASHINGTON — The White House confirmed Saturday that the United States’ newly secured position in Greenland will deliver a permanent...
Sydney Sweeney Issues Heartfelt Apology to Critics for Being So Attractive
LOS ANGELES — Actress Sydney Sweeney issued a lengthy, unprompted apology Friday to critics who have spent years pointing out...
GOP Makes Final Plea Before Midterms: ‘Vote For Us. We Take the Best Vacations!’
WASHINGTON — With seven weeks remaining until the midterm elections, Republican officials on Thursday introduced what they described as a...
JUST IN: GOP Congress Narrowly Avoids Doing Anything Before Leaving for Vacation Again
WASHINGTON — Republican majorities in the House and Senate narrowly avoided accomplishing anything of note this week, successfully clearing the...
To Counter Trump’s Artificial Intelligence Push, Dems Launch ‘Artificial Stupidity’ Models Based on AOC and Kamala Harris
WASHINGTON — In a bold legislative response to former President Donald Trump’s renewed calls for accelerated artificial intelligence development, Democratic...
Introducing Sharia Barbie with hijab, Quran, and a forced marriage license!
Toy maker Mattel has introduced a wonderful toy for all the girls and boys who identify as girls out there:...
AI CEOs Vow to Slow Advancement by Releasing ‘Artificial Unintelligence’ Models Based on AOC and Kamala Harris
SILICON VALLEY — In a coordinated announcement this week, chief executives from several leading artificial intelligence companies revealed plans to...
