Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
Local Wife Poised to Win Husband’s Fantasy Football League Again After Making Zero Moves All Season 
McConnell Eyes Next Week for First Senate Appearance Since Dying Eight Weeks Ago 
Hormones Make Moms K!ll Their Kids but They’re Totally Safe for Trans Kids to Take
I need everyone to sit down, drink some water, and stop treating other people’s endocrine systems like a true-crime podcast....
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Trump Drops Several Tactical Memes Over Canada After PM Carney’s Warning
OTTAWA—President Trump has dropped several tactical memes over Canada after Prime Minister Mark Carney prohibited American political imagery, administration officials...
To Avoid Any Confusion, California Will Announce Governor’s Election Results Ahead of Actual Vote
SACRAMENTO — California election officials announced Monday that they will release the official results of the November gubernatorial election in...
Billie Eilish Unveils ‘Smash Capitalism,’ a Fragrance Priced at $88 an Ounce
LOS ANGELES — Grammy winner Billie Eilish on Monday introduced Smash Capitalism, a new eau de parfum she described as...
Jelly Roll Named New Bud Light Spokeswoman After Kimmel Stint
NASHVILLE — Country singer Jelly Roll has been named Bud Light’s new spokeswoman, the beer brand announced Monday, confirming the...
Trump Officially Renames Canada ‘Snow Mexico’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Sunday signed an executive order directing federal agencies to stop calling Canada “Canada” and...
Trump Officially Renames Grand Canyon ‘Grand Kamala’
WASHINGTON — One day after directing federal agencies to rechristen Lake Michigan as Lake Big Mike, President Donald Trump announced...
‘You can’t just change the name of a lake and expect it to be different in reality’ says Sally (formerly called Steve)
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A newly prominent commentator on geographic nomenclature said Saturday that President Trump’s executive order redesignating Lake Ontario...
Trump Orders Canadian Geese to be Renamed ‘Donald Ducks’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Friday directed federal wildlife agencies to stop using the name “Canada goose” and to...
Trump Renames Lake Michigan ‘Lake Michelle Obama’
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Monday that Lake Michigan will henceforth be officially designated Lake Michelle Obama, citing what...
