Ilhan Omar Pleads the Fifth 113 Times on Whether Her Husband Is Her Brother 
Clever Wife Finds Twentieth New Place to Hide the Car Keys This Month 
Louvre Hosts Open House for Looters; “Girl with the Suicidal Empathy” Left Untouched 
Netanyahu Demands 2-State Solution for France Following Unrest 
Macron: “It’s Not a Riot If It’s Not From France’s Riôt Region. This Is Just Sparkling Social Discontent” 
Fetuses identifying as death-row inmates to get Democrats to start fighting for their right to live
WASHINGTON — A coalition of unborn plaintiffs announced Friday that they had begun identifying as death-row inmates, citing the legal...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
NFL Teams Lining Up to Draft The Cornell 7
ITHACA, N.Y. — Cornell University announced Thursday that seven of its students had been selected in the NFL Draft, a...
Iran Graciously Lets Democrats Use Their Trademarked slogan “Death to America” for 2026 midterm Election
WASHINGTON — The Islamic Republic of Iran announced Thursday that it would graciously permit several Democratic campaign committees to use...
Macron Caught Playing Lute As France Burns to the Ground
PARIS — President Emmanuel Macron was photographed Thursday evening adjusting the tuning pegs of a lute on the balcony of...
WNBA Bans All Fans From Games After One Pointed at A’ja Wilson
In a decisive move to protect the integrity of the game, the Women’s National Basketball Association announced Wednesday that all...
BREAKING: Thousands of immigrants heading to US to become victims of systemic racism
McALLEN, TX—A migrant caravan from Africa and Central America is heading for the United States to become victims of the...
AOC: Religion, Patriarchy, and Homophobia are Evil, Unless You’re Muslim, In Which Case, They’re Diversity
Let me be crystal, like, structurally clear: religion, patriarchy, and homophobia are violence. Not “beliefs.” Violence. They are how power...
Woman Arrested After Installing Flock Camera Inside Flock CEO’s Home for ‘His Safety’
ATLANTA — A 31-year-old Decatur woman was arrested early Monday after authorities say she entered the Buckhead residence of Flock...
BREAKING: UK Terror suspects all released after explaining that terror is an expression of their religion
UNITED KINGDOM—Five men arrested near RAF Fairford on suspicion of preparing a terrorist act and explosives offences have been released...
97% of climate scientists agree that we only have 18 months to save their jobs
An international body of nearly 100 climate scientists convened by the United Nations have issued a stern warning to the...
