Trump Orders All Israel Pride Flags to Be Flown at Half-Mast in Honor of Lindsey Graham’s Passing 
BREAKING: Lindsey Graham Dies After Accidentally Uttering the Word “Peace” 
Travis Kelce Announces Pregnancy Just Days after Marrying Taylor Swift 
Sneak Peak of The Odyssey with Samuel L. Jackson as Helen of Troy 
Senate Republicans Report McConnell ‘Fully Engaged,’ ‘Eager to Return’ 
Trump Awards Himself Nobel Peace Prize for Ending War with Iran That He Started
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump bestowed upon himself the Nobel Peace Prize Tuesday morning, citing his extraordinary achievement in successfully...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Newsom Threatens to Seize Elon Musk’s Entire $1.1 Trillion to Fund Another 0.0 Miles of His High-Speed Rail Project
SACRAMENTO — Governor Gavin Newsom announced Tuesday that his administration is exploring legal avenues to confiscate Elon Musk’s full $1.1...
Democrats demand Trump go back to war with Iran so they can complain about him being at war with Iran
WASHINGTON — Citing a dangerous vacuum in foreign policy discourse, leading Democrats urged President Trump on Monday to resume military...
BREAKING: Federal Judge Overturns Iran Peace Deal, Orders U.S. to Resume Bombing
WASHINGTON — A federal district judge in Texas struck down the 2025 Iran Nuclear Peace Accord late Monday, ruling the...
Elon Musk Sleeping Horribly Due to His Hoarding $1 Trillion in Cash Under His Mattress
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, and several other ventures valued in the hundreds of billions, is...
“Elon Musk Is a Parasite,” Say Politicians Who Live Entirely on Extorted Taxpayer Money
WASHINGTON — A bipartisan coalition of lawmakers denounced billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk as a “parasite” Tuesday, arguing that his companies’...
AOC Rockets to Top of 2028 Democratic Presidential Polls After Revealing New Nazi Tattoo
WASHINGTON — Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has surged into a commanding lead among likely Democratic primary voters following the public...
Karmelo Anthony is The Felon of Troy
Frisco, Texas — In what scholars of classical literature are already calling a bold reinterpretation of Homeric epic, Karmelo Anthony...
Trump Announces 38th Final Iran Peace Deal Coincidentally Timed With Enormous Stock Bet
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Thursday that the United States and Iran are on the verge of signing what...
Belfast ravaged by climate change following migrant attack
BELFAST—PSNI Assistant Chief Constable Siobhan Murphy told reporters: “We are monitoring a number of incidents involving fire. However, it is...
