California reports that they could know who won the governor primary by sometime early 2028 
Talarico: ‘Preborn Babies Are Like Tapeworms and Have No Rights Unless They’re Trans, In Which Case, They Deserve to Live’ 
All Things Considered…Problematic: The Quiet Violence of Coffee 
Statue of Obama Performing an Abortion on Lady Liberty Unveiled at the Obama Presidential Library 
NFL suspends Jaxson Dart for introducing Trump instead of beating his wife like a good NFL player 
Zelensky vows to read ‘Art Of The Deal’ before next White House visit
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky announced Tuesday that he plans to read Donald Trump’s 1987 business manifesto, The Art of the...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
All 6 WNBA fans devastated as Angel Reese threatens to sit out if she’s not paid more
In a shocking turn of events that sent ripples through the half a dozen dedicated WNBA fans, star player Angel...
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict
US—The Democratic Party has rolled out its latest messaging masterpiece: the “Peace Is War” campaign, a daring rebrand of their...
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles
Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) expressed outrage today over a disturbing trend in Germany, where terrorists have been using gas-guzzling, fossil-fuel-powered...
CNN: More cars mysteriously drive themselves into German pedestrians
Germany is reeling from yet another wave of rogue automobiles careening into pedestrians, leaving a trail of chaos, crumpled fenders,...
Bondi assures Americans: ‘Epstein files coming soon—just need to blot out all the Israeli connections first’
WASHINGTON, DC—Attorney General Pam Bondi, fresh off a Florida tan and a cabinet promotion, has reassured an impatient American public...
Zelensky launches new reality TV show: Dancing with the Tsars in bold war-fundraising effort
In a dazzling pivot from trench warfare to twirling waltzes, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has unveiled his latest strategy to...
BREAKING: Trump puts Zelensky in ‘time-out corner’ during explosive Oval Office meeting
Washington, D.C. – In a bizarre turn of events during a high-stakes diplomatic meeting, President Donald Trump reportedly sent Ukrainian...
Elon Musk Offers ‘The View’ Hosts an All-Woman SpaceX One-Way Ticket to Deep Space
Elon Musk has extended an offer to the hosts of ABC’s The View for an exclusive, all-woman SpaceX flight—a one-way...
EXCLUSIVE: Genesius Times have obtained all 4 phases of the Epstein Files (VIDEO)
The "Epstein Files" refer to a collection of documents tied to Jeffrey Epstein, a financier and convicted sex offender who...
