Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Jimmy Kimmel: ‘I didn’t need 60 trips to Epstein Island to disrespect women my entire career’
Comedian and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel addressed the swirling rumors and allegations surrounding his association with Jeffrey Epstein's infamous...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Epstein client list commits suicide just before being released to the public
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and conveniently timed twist in the ongoing saga surrounding Jeffrey Epstein's notorious client list, the list...
KJP: ‘It’s shameful to send illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities that welcome them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre recently made a bold statement about the administration's approach to immigration. In a...
Green Day changes its name to Gay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Mayorkas & Blinken’s ancestors also negotiated Manhattan deal for the Indians
In a stunning historical revelation, intrepid historians have unearthed documents proving that the ancestors of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas...
Biden releases his 1924 New Year’s resolutions
President Biden has just released his 1924 New Year’s resolutions at a press conference today in Washington, DC. “Yes, here...
Zelensky Asks Biden To Select Tip Amount On Latest Billion Dollar Aid Package
In a diplomatic twist that left pundits scratching their heads, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has reached out to U.S. President...
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Auditions for Angry Birds
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City...
BREAKING: Maine Secretary of State saves democracy by making sure people can’t vote for their favorite candidate in 2024
AUGUSTA, ME—In a bold move to save democracy, Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows has unveiled a revolutionary plan to...
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming trip down memory lane, President* Joe Biden regaled the audience at the White House Kwanzaa celebration...
