Local Taco Bell Manager Certain Cyclospora Outbreak Came From Farmers Market Down the Street 
The New ‘Odyssey’ Film Literally Impregnated Me 
Carney Bans Wildfires From Canada 
Judge Rules Judges Are Above The Law 
France, Last Remaining African Team, Eliminated from World Cup 
BREAKING: Nation horrified to learn terrorist wasn’t a white supremacist
New Orleans, LA — In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation reevaluating its assumptions, the identity...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Wray promises to allow several more terrorist attacks before he steps down as FBI Director
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising yet somewhat expected turn of events, FBI Director Christopher Wray has announced his commitment...
Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days
In a world where individuality and creative expression are celebrated, there exists a young college graduate who has taken the...
AOC: Billionaires shouldn’t be able to influence government; only triple PhDs with no real-world work experience should do that
In the grand tapestry of American politics, where every thread is either a dollar bill or a promise of one,...
AOC: Billionaires influencing government is evil (unless they fund only Democrats of course)
In the hallowed halls of Congress, where the air is thick with the scent of justice, equality, and occasionally, the...
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming trip down memory lane, President* Joe Biden regaled the audience at the White House Kwanzaa celebration...
Local dad surprised by the Christmas gifts he gave his kids because his wife did all the shopping
In a heartwarming holiday twist, local resident Mark Thompson was left utterly astonished by the Christmas presents he ostensibly chose...
BREAKING: American Airlines to use flying reindeer to pull airplanes amid technical glitch
American Airlines has announced that their fleet will temporarily be powered by flying reindeer after a catastrophic software glitch grounded...
Family makes annual trip to donate last year’s Chinese junk to make room for this year’s Chinese junk
The Smith family has perfected an annual ritual that combines the spirit of giving with the art of decluttering. On...
Kamala Harris unsure how to pay off campaign debt but certain about how to run the US economy
Washington D.C. - In the wake of a challenging presidential campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris finds herself grappling with a...
