Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores 
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire 
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
WNBA to start all games with Caitlin Clark receiving 5 fouls for getting punched in the face 
Rep. Ocasio-Cortez Invents Groundbreaking Car That Runs on Neither Gas Nor Electricity 
Netflix releases new documentary: Christopher Columbus: the First African American
LOS ANGELES — In a bold reimagining of history, Netflix announced the release of its latest documentary, Christopher Columbus: The...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Elizabeth Warren takes 1/1024th of the day off to celebrate Indigenous People’s Day
Most people are aware that Sen. Elizabeth Warren, front runner for the 2020 Democratic nomination for president, is a true...
Kamala Harris sacrifices 666 innocent people to Aztec sun god to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead of that evil Columbus Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold and historic gesture, Vice President Kamala Harris marked this year’s Indigenous People’s Day with a dazzling...
Elon Musk unveils Tesla’s Cyber-School Bus
What started off as a casual comment by Elon Musk in 2012 about wanting to build a truck has evolved into what...
Things to Know About Debt Restructuring
Debt can feel like a heavy burden, especially when you're juggling multiple loans and payments. If you're in a tough...
BREAKING: Scientists have finally isolated ‘pure cringe’ and have immediately started using it in the Harris-Walz campaign
In a groundbreaking discovery that could only be described as "nails on a chalkboard for the soul," a team of...
BREAKING: Mayorkas says that FEMA has investigated itself and found it has done nothing wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—In a development sure to restore America’s unwavering confidence in government self-oversight, Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas triumphantly announced...
Climate Goddess Greta Thunberg declares Hurricane Milton will spare followers’ homes if they paint their doors with aborted fetus blood
Climate Goddess Greta Thunberg has issued an urgent decree to her devout followers: **Hurricane Milton will bypass their homes—**if they...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris bravely returns to site of malfunctioning teleprompter
FLINT, MI—In what is being hailed as one of the most courageous acts of her political career, Vice President Kamala...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris shows off her favorite Glock to prove she’s not anti-gun
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unexpected and awkward press conference, Vice President Kamala Harris finally addressed her controversial comments about being a...
