US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true 
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center 
Israel’s Pride Festival Near Ancient Site of Sodom and Gomorrah Cancelled Over 85% Chance of Fire and Brimstone 
Ilhan Omar Quietly Shuts Down Her “Quality Winary Center” as Ethics Scrutiny Intensifies 
Breaking: Bill Clinton Adopts Eric Swalwell: “He’s The Son I Never Had” 
Conspiracy Theorists Sue Government for Taking All Their Ideas
US—In an ironic twist of fate, a coalition of conspiracy theorists has filed a lawsuit against the U.S. government, accusing...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Donald Trump indicted for murdering elderly man on national television
ATLANTA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the alleged murder of current President* Joe Biden during a live television...
Congress unveils statue of Jamaal Bowman pulling fire alarm in Capitol Rotunda
WASHINGTON, DC—The Congress has unveiled a new statue of outgoing Congressman Jamaal Bowman pulling a fire alarm, commemorating his unique...
New rules for CNN debate: Trump will be in a sound-proof glass room and only be able to respond using sign language
ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its...
EXCLUSIVE: Preview of Presidential Debate Between Trump and Biden
Genesius Times was able to obtain exclusive footage of the future debate between President Donald Trump and President* Joe Biden....
Pro-Illegal Immigration Advocate Outraged Over Line-Cutter at Starbucks
DENVER—A Colorado-based pro-illegal immigration advocate, Ira Nee, was incensed when a man cut the line at Starbucks. The incident has...
Lego releases new Gaza Pride set
This revolutionary new toy is designed to promote cultural sensitivity and to teach children about the importance of acceptance and...
White House Report ‘Inflation is Way Down’ After Excluding Gas, Food, Housing
In a brilliant move to piggyback off the FBI's new method of reporting crime, the White House has announced that...
Biden: ‘Imprisoning Political Enemies Is the Only Way to Save Democracy’
President* Joe Biden has declared that "imprisoning political enemies is the only way to save democracy", in what many are...
Deciding Between a Community College and a University
So, you've crossed the threshold of high school and are now standing at the gateway to higher education. Congratulations! But...
