Mamdani Announces Microchip Requirement for Access to City-Owned Grocery Stores 
BREAKING: Arsonist blames climate change for making him start the Spokane fire 
BREAKING: Sen Mitch McConnell has tragically died tomorrow 
WNBA to start all games with Caitlin Clark receiving 5 fouls for getting punched in the face 
Rep. Ocasio-Cortez Invents Groundbreaking Car That Runs on Neither Gas Nor Electricity 
BREAKING: McDonald’s now offering covfefe
PHILADELPHIA—In an unexpected move, McDonald’s has added “Covfefe” to its beverage lineup, bringing the viral 2017 mystery word from Donald...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: McDonald’s changes name to ‘Donald’s’ after Trump works there for an hour
PHILADELPHIA—In a bold marketing move, McDonald's has announced it will officially change its name to "Donald's" following former President Donald...
Sneaky home fire alarm waits until everyone’s asleep to start beeping for no reason at 3:06 am
SUBURBIA, USA — In a move that can only be described as insidious, a home fire alarm began emitting a...
Kamala Harris closes Pennsylvania rally by sacrificing six babies to Moloch
PHILADELPHIA — In a dramatic finale to her rally in the swing state of Pennsylvania, Vice President Kamala Harris shocked...
BREAKING: Lizzo threatens to eat anyone who doesn’t vote for Kamala Harris
In an unexpected political move, Grammy-winning artist Lizzo announced that she will personally consume anyone who does not cast their...
BREAKING: Following interview, Brett Baier declares Harris has won Arizona
After waiting more than three and a half years, Fox News finally secured a rare, coveted interview with Vice President...
BREAKING: Mark Cuban denies that he’s Rosie O’Donnell and Rachel Maddow’s lesbian love child
Dallas, TX — Billionaire entrepreneur and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban, has publicly denied persistent rumors that he...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris fires her speechwriter Jar Jar Binks
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising shake-up within the Harris-Walz 2024 campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris has officially parted ways...
Harris Promises That Any Americans Who Die In WWIII Won’t Have To Repay Their Student Loans
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following President* Biden's plan, Vice President* Kamala Harris has assured the public that any U.S. citizens who...
HISTORIC: Jimmy Carter Becomes First Deceased President to Vote for Kamala Harris in 2024
PLAINS, GA — In a stunning and unprecedented act of civic participation, former President Jimmy Carter has become the first...
