Congressional superstar and House of Representatives Financial Committee member Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has stated that she has not signed up for the congressional 401k because as she said, “I couldn’t even finish a 5k.”

“I signed up for a fun 5k race a few years ago when I was a bartender,” Ocasio-Cortez said, “and I had to walk the last few miles. There’s NO WAY I could finish a 401k!”

When asked why she would give up such a beneficial financial tool, she said that she stayed healthy in other ways.

“I don’t smoke and I eat a lot of kale, so you could say that I’m kind of a health nut.”

Ocasio-Cortez hosts an online show Cooking With Communism, which shows viewers what it will be like under her totalitarian communist regime when they’re forced to cook their pets.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts