OPED: White supremacists are using jokes; it’s time we ban laughing

Ever since we social justice warriors invented morality in 2015, evil white supremacists have been making fun of us. They use jokes and satire to poke fun at our wokeness and it seems to be spreading.

Never again!

It’s time we outlaw laughing—at least in public.

If you are caught laughing in public, you will be automatically sentenced to 2 months of sensitivity training, which will consist of videos of Greta Thunberg saying, “How dare you,” on repeat.

You simply cannot laugh at a time like this. Literally Hitler is president of the United States. We are on the brink of an unprecedented ecological apocalypse. And no one has used my correct pronouns (ichtyosaurus, flatulance).

Recently Dave Chappelle has been outted as the leading white supremacist using this technique in his Netflix comedy special. Comedy? More like mental holocaust.

If you’re laughing right now, you are literally a white supremacist rapist Nazi. If we can’t gather up enough decency to ban laughing, there is no hope for our democracy.