Pete Buttigieg announces all weddings will be held at airports, officiated by TSA


SOUTH BEND, IN—Stolen-Election-President Joe Biden‘s pick for Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg has made a culture changing announcement upon taking office.

By the powers not granted to him in the United States Constitution, the retitled Minister of Transportation will require all weddings to take place at airports.

With his vast experience and education in the transportation industry, Minister Buttigieg has decided that the large taxpayer funded facilities meant for aircraft are the most romantic places from which to contact vows of matrimony. Buttigieg said he was inspired from his announcement from remembering the romantic time he propose to his current boyfriend at the lovely O’Hare Airport.

There will be other requirements regarding marriage ceremonies such as in affirmative action quotas in regards to both minorities and members of the LGBTQXYZ community.

Anyone attending an American marriage ceremony will also be required to get the COVID-19 vaccine regardless of whether not they have been a survivor of the virus and have the antibodies for the disease. Commie Cough redirection devices known as face mask will still be required unless of course you are a government official.

Joe Biden is always welcome to sniff bridesmaids or flower girls. SWAT Teams and other officials from other departments will be mobilized to enforce the Buttigieg Marriage Guidelines along with assistance with some local politicians.


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