Buckingham Palace have announced that Queen Elizabeth has grounded Prince Andrew and taken away his iPad for an entire month for, “Hanging out with that pedophile Epstein again,” sources say.

The grounding, which is to begin immediately, is punishment for Prince Andrew’s relationship with convicted sex abuser Jeffrey Epstein, who was suicided in jail in August.

Prince Andrew repeatedly snuck out of the palace and went to parties hosted by Epstein which included underage girls and drinking.

A spokesman for Queen Elizabeth has confirmed that if Prince Andrew is, “caught doing anything like this again, we’ll take away the keys to his car and his iPhone.”

“I really regret everything,” Prince Andrew said. “Most of all because I’m going to miss a really killer party on Epstein Island by the new owner, Haadid Nahkil Muhssef.”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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