Communism Only Killed 100 Million People. It’s Time We Give It Another Try.
NEW YORK—Listen up, New Yorkers: I know the headlines are screaming about Zohran Mamdani's double-digit lead in the mayoral polls,...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Buy Bernie’s new book ‘How to Get Filthy Rich Fighting Income Inequality’
Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders is on a roll. After making a name for himself decrying capitalism and fighting the super-rich,...
BREAKING: Hakeem Jeffries filibusters law that officially labels him ‘Dollar Store Obama’
WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) launched a marathon filibuster yesterday to block the passage of a law that,...
AOC: If you take Tylenol PM while pregnant, your child will only be autistic at night
America, we’ve been played. Big Pharma’s been slipping us the oldest trick in their corporate playbook, and it’s time to...
AOC: It’s Not Domestic Terrorism, It’s *Democratic Domestic Terrorism, So It’s OK
US—Listen up, comrades. The corporate media and their billionaire puppet masters are at it again, clutching their pearls over what...
Democrats urge the ‘Stupid, inbred, racist, Nazi Republicans’ to tone down the rhetoric
WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of the shocking assassination of conservative commentator Charlie Kirk, Democratic leaders have issued a heartfelt plea...
BREAKING: Trump replaces White House Press Secretary with literal gaslight to address Epstein Files
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has left political analysts and fire marshals equally baffled, former President Donald Trump...
Genesius Times officially endorses AOC-Crockett 2028 Presidential Ticket: ‘It’s a No-Brainer’
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the satirical news community, the editorial board of Genesius Times, the internet’s...
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It
America, it’s time to shake up this tired “due process for all” nonsense. The Constitution’s cute and all, but let’s...
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work
In a bold move to rally young Democrat voters, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has pledged to set her Tesla ablaze,...
