HOT: FBI release stunning new fall fashion line based on Melania Trump’s wardrobe
WASHINGTON, DC—The front rows, as usual, made the headlines at the fall 2022 runway shows. Kim Kardashian wowed at Prada and Balenciaga,...
fashion
STUNNING: Chet and Jabba the Hutt cover SI 2022 swimsuit issue
US—Chet and Jabba the Hutt have reached new career peaks: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover star. "It's hard to even...
POLL: What color should Anthony Fauci’s prison jumpsuit be?
We at Genesius Times want to make sure Dr. Fauci looks great while he's in jail for mass murder, so...
AOC wears ‘Eat the Rich’ dress to Met Gala then literally eats 4 rich guests
NEW YORK—US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has never been one to shy away from controversy. While attending the $30,000 per...
NFL releases new super-gay uniforms
NEW YORK—Doubling down on their "Football is gay" message, the NFL has released its new super-gay uniforms for the 2021...
WOKE: Victoria’s Secret replaces all ‘Angel’ lingerie models with Chet the human turd
NEW YORK CITY—In perhaps the wokest of all corporate wokeness, lingerie dealer Victoria's Secret has done away with its attractive...
Newsom assures Californians his vaccine passports will be ‘super cute’
SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom announced a new way to show that you've been vaccinated against COVID-19 and allayed fears about...
Plastic bags are the new double face masks
"Plastic bagging" is a sensible and easy way to virtue signal to your fashionable death Many of us who watched...
Roberts introduces new uniforms for Supreme Court justices
WASHINGTON DC--Chief Justice John Roberts introduced the new uniform for all Supreme Court justices including pink robes and a pink...
500 lb. helmet made to keep all of Colin Kaepernick’s hair perfect during next NFL game
Astrophysicists have been tasked with creating a football helmet to keep Colin Kaepernick's hair perfect if he should play in...
