Brave local man cuts off his penis so that other men won’t rape people with theirs
SPRINGFIELD—A brave local man, Hugh Janus, has cut off his penis so that other men won't rape people. This follows...
second amendment
Matthew McConaughey shows clips of him being irresponsible with guns before demanding people be responsible with guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Matthew McConaughey made a special appearance behind the podium at the White House briefing room on Tuesday, June 7,...
My spoon killed another 2 gallons of ice cream last night; it’s time for common sense spoon control
This morning, I was devastated to find out that my spoon ate another 2 gallons of ice cream last night....
Man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for Taliban gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—The man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for the Taliban and is sending millions of dollars in weapons to...
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau’s security to use only NERF guns from now on
OTTAWA—In a bold move, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has prohibited guns for people protecting him and will instead will...
Biden: ‘No constitutional amendment is absolute so…slavery is back on the table’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden opened the door to a renewed American slave trade after stating that "no constitutional amendment is absolute."...
Kamala Harris orders Secret Service to use only NERF guns from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—Call her a power-hungry prostitute or a tyrannical communist, but you cannot call President Vice-President Kamala Harris a hypocrite...
BREAKING: 23 killed at Virginia white supremacist gun-rights protest, dozens injured
At least 23 people were killed at the white supremacist Second Amendment Rally in Richmond, Virginia today, authorities reported. Many...
Virginia Dems send in Beto O’Rourke to confiscate guns in 2nd Amendment sanctuaries
RICHMOND, VA— Democratic lawmakers on Capitol Hill say local police who do not enforce gun control measures likely to pass in...
Mexican government hires Beto to confiscate all the drug cartel guns
MEXICO CITY—Last week, hundreds of gunmen from the Sinaloa cartel overpowered military forces in fighting that killed at least a...
