Goodyear shoots down all fat-shaming blimps; stops producing spare tires
Move over all you woke corporate goons. There's a company out there that makes y'all look like gun totin' Bible...
Month: August 2020
Passengers refusing to wear mask kicked off plane somewhere over Kansas
Parents and their six children who refused to wear a mask were kicked off of a JetBlue Airways flight somewhere over the...
Goodyear introduces new 2020 tires that only make left turns
Going all in on its recent zero tolerance for conservatives policy, Goodyear Tire Company is introducing its 2020 tires that...
Biden becomes first computer-generated AI to receive Democratic nomination
WILMINGTON, DE—Joe Biden has become the first ever computer-generated artificial intelligence program to receive a major party presidential nomination after...
Biden promises a full-size USPS mail box in every American living room
WILMINGTON—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden has promised a full-sized US Postal Service mail box in every American living room if...
BREAKING: AOC invents non-electronic Email
In what will be known as the greatest invention of all time, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (D-NY) has invented...
Americans trying to contract COVID-19 to get out of watching 2020 Democratic National Convention
The pain caused by the 2020 DNC Convention is becoming too much to handle for liberals. While more people are...
DNC replaces 2020 convention with 5 minutes of loud, sustained yelling at images of Trump
After dismal ratings, the Democratic National Committee will do away with their traditional convention in 2020 and instead spend five...
Bill Clinton to address Democratic Convention live from Epstein Island
PEDO ISLAND—Bill Clinton will address America's Democrats during the largely video conference Democratic National Convention from Jeffrey Epstein's pedophile island,...
UK police apprehend deadly gang of intentional misgenderers
Knife crime and terrorism is on the rise in the UK, but thankfully, the authorities have been able to stifle...
