JUST IN: Brave young Democrat influencers cut off their testicles in protest of Trump
In an unprecedented display of political fervor, a group of young, progressive activists known as the "Brave Democrats" - comprised...
Month: February 2025
Trump is cutting government power and waste: LITERALLY HITLER!
In an era where the very fabric of our society is being unraveled by the threads of efficiency, one man...
Dems assure public on USAID: ‘It’s not corruption; It’s *democratic* corruption’
Washington, D.C.—As the DOGE audit unearths what many describe as egregious misuse of funds within USAID, Democrats have taken to...
Musk to Trump: ‘If there are 10 righteous people in USAID, will you spare it?’
THE CITY OF WASHINGTON—With the city's skyline transformed into a canvas for divine intervention, Elon, draped in robes that glowed...
Chuck Schumer celebrates Black History Month by devouring rack of ribs and whole watermelon at press conference
WASHINGTON, DC—In an act of cultural appreciation—or perhaps a severe misinterpretation of cultural sensitivity—Chuck Schumer held a press conference to...
BREAKING: Big Balls takes commanding lead in 2028 presidential polling
Washington, DC—The political landscape has been rocked by the revelation that Big Balls, once known only in the dark corners...
BREAKING: Judge Hugh Jassole declares the Constitution to be unconstitutional
In a ruling that has legal scholars scratching their heads and X users cackling into their keyboards, Judge Hugh Jassole...
BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them
WASHINGTON, DC—In an event that left the nation both shocked and amused, President Donald Trump signed an executive order banning...
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unprecedented political maneuver, Democrats have issued a warning to Elon Musk's "Department of Government Efficiency" (DOGE), claiming...
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation
WASHINGTON, DC–In a dramatic press conference held in the shadow of the Capitol, Democratic leaders have issued a dire warning...
