BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ
WASHINGTON, DC—Pete Hegseth, clad in full medieval knight regalia, stormed into the Senate Armed Forces Committee hearing with the zeal...
Year: 2025
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’
Washington, D.C.—The room was electric as Pete Hegseth, the Fox News host-turned-cabinet nominee, kicked off his Senate confirmation hearing with...
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name
LOS ANGELES—In a heartfelt gesture of international solidarity, President* Joe Biden assured the victims of California’s devastating wildfires that while...
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California
In an astonishing revelation that has left the progressive community reeling, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) expressed her horror upon discovering...
Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with prior preparation, California Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled detailed, fully...
JUST IN: Tone deaf pilot has gender reveal party in the midst of LA wildfires
In what might be the most tone-deaf move since someone decided to throw a birthday party during the Black Plague,...
Woman who got rich from people burning down cities gets her mansion burnt down by wildfire
In a twist of fate that could only be described as the universe's version of poetic justice, or perhaps just...
BREAKING: LAPD arrest local vigilantes for stopping arsonists setting fires throughout city
LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) has made headlines not for catching arsonists, but for arresting the very citizens...
BREAKING: California rejects Oregon firefighters after their trucks fail smog check
LOS ANGELES—A battalion of Oregon firefighters, dispatched to aid in the massive California wildfire dubbed "The Charred Palisades," were sent...
Brave LAFD hosts Pride Parade in charred Pacific Palisades neighborhood
LOS ANGELES—In an unprecedented move amidst the smoldering aftermath of the devastating Palisades Fire, the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD)...
