ALBANY, NY–New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has agreed to a compromise with the #metoo movement to save his job. He will be able continue groping and harassing women as long as 50 percent of them are transwomen.

Linda Boobice of the New York #metoo chapter is happy with the compromise.

“We are as woke as it gets and it really doesn’t matter if the governor is kissing or groping women against their will as long as he’s giving equal time to the trans community,” Boobice said.

Cuomo said that he was excited to start treating the trans community equally.

“I may be an abusive dirtbag politician, but I don’t want to hear anyone say that I’m a bigot against the trans community,” Cuomo said.

US Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said that she is fine with this compromise.

“You know, I think it’s great what he’s doing. More transwomen need to be groped by the governor,” Ocasio-Cortez said.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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