WILMINGTON, DE—The FBI is sending fifteen agents to the Wilmington home of President* Joe Biden after it was discovered that a noose was planted there in an apparent hate crime.

“It appears that I am now a victim of white supremacy,” Biden said in a press conference on the discovery.

Fighting crimes by white supremacists is the number one goal of the FBI.

“We take hate crimes seriously,” FBI Director Christopher Wray said. “Actually, that’s all we take seriously, to be honest.”

The noose was spotted after some people claimed that Biden had left illegally obtained classified documents in an insecure location in the garage.

“I mean come on. We’re not going to investigate the improper handling of illegally obtained classified documents,” Wray said. “We only do that for people like Trump.”

The FBI has dedicated 100% of the force to solving hate crimes since the horrific NASCAR noose was found in Bubba Wallace’s garage.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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