Anti-war liberals furious Trump isn’t going to war

WASHINGTON – In a rare show of bipartisanship, the top anti-war liberals joined with blood-thirsty conservatives to condemn President Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw U.S. troops from northeastern Syria.

“This decision poses a dire threat to the profits of the military industrial complex,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a Democrat, said in a statement calling on Trump to “reverse this dangerous decision.”

Sen. Chuck Schumer made the pro-war humanitarian argument.

“Turkey is going to start bombing the Kurds. This would be a great opportunity to start a prolonged world war. This non-aggression will not stand, man!”

All of the same people who condemned Trump for not going to war with Iran are critical of him withdrawing troops from Syria.

“Trump’s never going to win a Nobel Peace Prize until he starts bombing the s**t out of people,” Schumer said.