Local Bernie fan complains about having 23 options for Thanksgiving dessert
A local Bernie Sanders fan is planning on yelling about the evils and inadequacies of capitalism—especially having so many dessert...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Local man who’s never given a dollar to charity mad Jeff Bezos only donated $98.5 million to homeless
A local man who has never donated to any charity is infuriated that Amazon Founder and CEO Jeff Bezos didn't...
Queen generously gives Prince Andrew all-expenses paid vacation to special Parisian tunnel
Queen Elizabeth gave Prince Andrew the royal sendoff as he embarked on an all-expenses paid vacation to a special Parisian...
Buttigieg supports NASA program to put man in Uranus
Presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg has endorsed a NASA program to put a man in Uranus. NASA's latest robotic mission to...
Queen Elizabeth grounds Prince Andrew, takes iPad away for ‘hanging out with that pedophile Epstein again’
Buckingham Palace have announced that Queen Elizabeth has grounded Prince Andrew and taken away his iPad for an entire month...
Bob Iger joins MasterClass for class on ruining beloved movie franchises
Disney chairman-CEO Bob Iger has signed on to the MasterClass digital education service, offering a course in how to ruin beloved movie...
Bernie Sanders says he’ll put AOC in ‘very important’ bartending role in White House
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has a “very, very important role” waiting for her in the White House should fellow Democratic...
CONFIRMED: Greta is cyborg sent back in time to kill off humanity
Rumors circulated after teen climate activist Greta Thunberg met with Terminator actor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently. Was she in fact a...
Elizabeth Banks mad that no men want to see her ugly feminist action film without action
"Charlie's Angels" director Elizabeth Banks is furious that no men want to see her ugly feminist action film that doesn't...
BREAKING: Two Epstein prison guards scheduled to be suicided tomorrow
Two correctional officers who were responsible for guarding Jeffrey Epstein when he killed himself in his New York jail cell...
