Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Brian Hernandez Jr., jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mystik Dan, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying,...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Gov Kathy Hochul’s lures black voters back to the Democratic Party by calling them ignorant, sheltered monkeys
NEW YORK—In a last-ditch effort to secure her position as New York Governor, Kathy Hochul has resorted to a shocking...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for not sniffing kids during Miami Grand Prix visit
MIAMI—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of not sniffing children during his recent visit to...
Chet the human turd demands to be added to the LGBTQ+ Pride flag
HOLLYWOOD—In what can only be described as a groundbreaking and revolutionary moment in human history, Chet, the human turd who...
Texas Governor sets up “Liberation Zone” for rioting college students in local prison
AUSTIN—In a bold move that has stunned the nation, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has announced a revolutionary plan to deal...
Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days
In a world where individuality and creative expression are celebrated, there exists a young college graduate who has taken the...
BREAKING: The ‘Free Palpatine’ movement spreads across the US
In a bizarre and slightly humorous twist, a peculiar movement known as the "Free Palpatine" campaign has been gaining ground...
Local father of 4 lives one year entirely on his kids’ food that ‘touched another food’
In a world where parenting challenges abound, one brave father has taken on the ultimate test of endurance and gag...
BREAKING: Sources confirm Stacey Abrams ate Uncle Bosey
ATLANTA—In a shocking turn of events, sources close to the Biden campaign have confirmed that Stacey Abrams, the former Georgia...
Mark Zuckerberg unveils new upgraded skin that looks more human-like
Palo Alto, CA—In a bold move to boost investor confidence, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has debuted his latest innovation: a...
