AG Merrick Garland warns MAGA Americans not to “interfere” in 2024 election by voting
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a stern warning issued from the Justice Department, Attorney General Merrick Garland has urged MAGA Americans to not...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Kamala Harris finally achieves goal of unity as everyone comes together against her
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Kamala Harris has long spoken about her desire to unite the country, and this week, she finally...
BREAKING: 17-year-old at DNC horrified to learn he’s Tim Walz’s son
CHICAGO—A 17-year-old political enthusiast at the Democratic National Convention was left in utter dismay after discovering that his long-lost father...
Multi-millionaire with three homes lectures Americans about ‘not taking more than what you need’
CHICAGO — In a heartfelt and humbling address at the Democratic National Convention, former First Lady and multi-millionaire Michelle Obama,...
‘On Day 1’ Kamala Harris promises to fix everything that is so great and perfect right now because of her administration
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a fiery campaign speech delivered to a crowd of bewildered supporters, Vice President Kamala Harris made...
BREAKING: Walls are okay again
CHICAGO, IL — In a stunning reversal of their long-standing opposition to border walls, the Democratic National Convention Committee (DNCC)...
Democrats win rights to use ‘Death to America’ as 2024 campaign slogan
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that's sure to shake up the 2024 election, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) announced...
Kamala Harris kicks off Democratic Convention by sacrificing two babies to Moloch
CHICAGO—Democrats kicked off their 2024 convention with Vice Presidential pick Kamala Harris sacrificing two babies to Moloch, the patron god...
POLL: What should Biden rename monkeypox to make it more inclusive?
Following a bigoted response to monkeypox with some people pointing out that homosexuals constitute 98% of the cases, the Biden...
BREAKING: Monkeypox outbreak traced back to several ‘White Dudes For Harris’ rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a shocking development, health officials have traced the recent surge in monkeypox cases to a series...
