James Talarico goes deer hunting to prove he’s a real Texan ahead of election
AUSTIN — In what campaign aides described as a “powerful statement of rural values,” State Representative James Talarico (D-Austin) ventured...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Trump Hails End of Non-War to Stop Iran’s Nuclear Program That Was Already Obliterated and Reopen Strait That Wasn’t Closed
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced today the successful conclusion of a war that was not a war, praising U.S....
World War Eleven: The True Story of the Wokest Generation (Official Trailer)
In the greatest war movie never made, a ragtag squad of elite progressive warriors must save democracy… and Private Brian...
Trump Orders Blockade of Ohio River, Plans Airstrikes on Kentucky Over Massie Nuclear Threat
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the U.S. military has established a full naval blockade of the Ohio...
Israel Alerts Trump That Thomas Massie is Just 2 Weeks from Completing Nuclear Weapon
WASHINGTON — Israeli officials have formally briefed President Donald Trump that Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) is approximately 14 days away...
Local Dad Offers Definitive Guide to When You Should Wave At Someone While Driving
Area dad Mark Thompson, 47, sat down with reporters Tuesday to clarify the complex social etiquette of waving from a...
“Are You Not Validated?” – Elliot Page Gladiator Remake Review
In what can only be described as a courageous act of historical scholarship, Ridley Scott—or whoever was contractually obligated to...
BREAKING: Cow Claims Thomas Massie Offered Her $5k in ‘Cow Money’ to Hide His Popeyes Love
WASHINGTON — A veteran Chick-fil-A spokes-cow has leveled explosive new allegations against Thomas Massie, claiming the congressman not only carried...
Groundbreaking AI Study Resolves MJ vs. LeBron GOAT Debate with Empirical Simulation
Abstract Researchers at the Institute for Objective Athletic Evaluation uploaded every available statistic, play-by-play log, game film, and biomechanical dataset...
Fauci Admits Lab Creation of Coronavirus in Bats, ‘But Would Totes Never Do the Same with Rats’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Anthony Fauci announced Tuesday that, with the statute of limitations now expired on his prior testimony before...
