Trump Replaces AG Pam Bondi with Literal Gaslight in Bold Cabinet Shake-Up
Washington, D.C. — In a move described by White House officials as “totally normal and definitely not weird,” President Donald...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Justice Ketanji Jackson Says She Will Only Hear Oral Arguments on April 1st from Now On: ‘That Way I Can Always Claim I Was Just Joking’
WASHINGTON — Citing the overwhelming success of her previous April Fools’ Day legal strategy, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson...
Iranian President Clarifies: That Whole ‘Death to America’ Was a Misunderstanding; ‘We Really Meant Health to America!’
Tehran, Iran – In a stunning diplomatic pivot that has left international observers reaching for their calendars to confirm it’s...
BREAKING: Trump Cuts Ties with Israel, Ends Hostilities in Iran, Orders Mass Arrests of Epstein Clients
Washington, D.C. – In a stunning Rose Garden announcement Tuesday morning, President Donald J. Trump simultaneously severed diplomatic relations with...
NASA Announces George Floyd as Backup Crew Member for Artemis III Lunar Landing
Houston, TX – In a bold move to promote inclusivity and “lived experience” in space exploration, NASA confirmed Tuesday that...
Politicians 40+ Years in Office Loudly Declare “No Kings” About Guy in Office for 14 Months
WASHINGTON — In a stunning display of constitutional vigilance, a coalition of Democratic lawmakers who have collectively occupied their seats...
Democrats Stage Massive Protests to Save Democracy by Overthrowing Democratically Elected President
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stirring display of democratic fervor, thousands of Democrats took to the streets this weekend to...
Millions Gather for “No Queens” March in California and Minnesota
Los Angeles/Saint Paul – In scenes of shocking civility, an estimated 14 million Americans descended on the streets of Los...
BREAKING: Thune floats discussing several strongly-worded letters about maybe doing something for the American people in two weeks
Washington, D.C. – In a bold escalation of rhetorical force, Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) today solemnly pledged to...
Mamdani Builds $12 Billion ‘Wealth Containment Wall’ Around NYC to Stop Taxpayers From Leaving
NEW YORK — In an emergency mayoral address broadcast from the steps of Gracie Mansion—flanked by a newly installed bronze...
