BREAKING: Epstein client list commits suicide just before being released to the public
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning and conveniently timed twist in the ongoing saga surrounding Jeffrey Epstein's notorious client list, the list...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
KJP: ‘It’s shameful to send illegal immigrants to sanctuary cities that welcome them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre recently made a bold statement about the administration's approach to immigration. In a...
Green Day changes its name to Gay
In a move that can only be described as both progressive and potentially confusing for fans, iconic punk rock band...
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson Auditions for Angry Birds
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson recently stepped into the world of mobile gaming, leaving behind the political battlegrounds of the Windy City...
BREAKING: Maine Secretary of State saves democracy by making sure people can’t vote for their favorite candidate in 2024
AUGUSTA, ME—In a bold move to save democracy, Maine Secretary of State Shenna Bellows has unveiled a revolutionary plan to...
BREAKING: Colorado Supreme Court defends democracy by making sure people can only vote for Biden in 2024
DENVER—To achieve this noble goal, they've implemented a groundbreaking measure: allowing voters to cast their ballots for only one candidate....
Chicago Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
CHICAGO—Mayor Brandon Johnson has issued a stern rebuke to Texas Governor Greg Abbott for sending "dirty immigrants" to his city,...
Biden wishes millions of Americans a ‘season of illness and death’ in his annual holiday card
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden and his wife, Doctor* Jill Biden want to wish every unvaccinated American a "wonderful, cheery and...
Pope Francis says priests can bless Sodom & Gomorrah
In a stunning display of divine inclusivity, Pope Francis, the head of the Catholic Church, has announced a groundbreaking expansion...
BREAKING: Joe Biden denies crazy conspiracy theory that Hunter Biden is his son
US—The New York Times have finally admitted that the Hunter Biden laptop story is true and that there is massive...
