Local kid who only watches TV commercials surprised to learn that there are white people
In a shocking discovery that has left his parents scratching their heads, local 6-year-old Timmy Johnson has realized that there...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
NOW HIRING: Copyeditor for Random Memes We Find on the Internet
Annoyed by all those misspellings in the memes we find online? Well we've got the job for you! In an...
LIFE HACK: How to claim Volodymyr Zelensky as a dependent on your 2022 tax return
In a difficult economy, people are looking to boost their tax return and get as much money back as they...
BREAKING: Biden vows to punish whoever released illegal leaks all over the White House
In a statement released today, the Biden administration has vowed to find and punish whoever is responsible for repeatedly releasing...
BREAKING: Insurrection is okay again
(CNN) NASHVILLE—More than a 1,000 mostly peaceful protestors rallied around Tennessee’s state Capitol on March 30 calling for more restrictive...
BREAKING: Bud Light now made from 100% organic trans women’s piss
ST LOUIS—In a stunning move, Bud Light has announced that it will now be made from 100% organic trans women's...
Netflix Presents: Polar Bears, a Documentary
Netflix has just announced its latest nature documentary, "Polar Bears, a Documentary." The documentary follows the adventures of a polar...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to keep killing kids until you give up your guns
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have promised to keep killing your kids until you give up your guns. Former Speaker of the...
BREAKING: Biden to confiscate all Americans’ guns to give them to Ukraine
Washington D.C. - In a shocking move that has left gun rights advocates reeling, President Joe Biden has announced that...
Biden calls for national day of mourning for trans person who was viciously misgendered after mostly peacefully killing some people
(CNN) WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has announced that he will be calling for a national day of mourning for Audrey...
