Exavier Saskagoochie
Local woman devastated to learn pumpkin spice lattes don’t have any pumpkin in them
Having just drained her 743rd pumpkin spice latte (or PSL as she calls them), local woman was shaken to the...
Buttigieg to fix supply chain issues by making all US highways gay
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg pointed to homophobia as the reason for America's current supply chain issues during an appearance on MSDNC's Morning Fellatio on...
Newsom makes first public appearance since getting booster shot
SACRAMENTO--Dispelling any rumors that the COVID vaccine booster shot that he received October 27 caused his absence from the public,...
Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination
US--Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination. The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall...
Man eaten by shark dies from white supremacy coronavirus
(CNN) CORONADO, CA—Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying...
McAuliffe wonders where his ‘Biden spike’ of votes went
RICHMOND, VA—Terry McAuliffe is waiting for his 'Biden spike' of votes to come in and for all the media to...
CNN: Why napping during climate speeches is good for the environment
(CNN)Taking naps on the job is the new technique to help the environment, science says. So, when the leader of...
CBS cancels World Series due to constant ‘F*** Joe Biden’ chanting in crowd
US—CBS has cancelled the World Series after constant chanting from the crowd disrupted game four. Fans chanted "F*** Joe Biden"...
Biden says he will probably vote for ‘this Brandon guy’ next election
US—Following a recent surge in popularity of a dark horse presidential candidate "Brandon", even sitting President* Joe Biden says that...
