BREAKING: Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him in jail last night
CHICAGO—Actor Jussie Smollett, who was sentenced to months in prison for faking a hate crime yesterday, now claims that members...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Buttigieg recommends a ‘horse and buggy’ for those who can’t afford gas right now
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said that those unable to pay the high gas prices caused by inflation and the...
US ‘very worried’ Russia may seize US bioweapons labs in Ukraine that don’t exist
WASHINGTON, DC—Government officials are "very worried" that Russia may seize US bioweapons labs in Ukraine that don't exist. "Do we...
Biden bans buying oil from Russia; mandates buying Russian oil from China marked up 10%
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday the U.S. will ban all oil imports from Russia and require imports of...
Buttigieg wears fabulous Marie Antoinette dress in energy event: ‘Let them drive electric’
WASHINGTON, DC—Look out red carpet! US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg wore a fabulous dress owned by the one and only...
Putin opens Uyghur concentration camp to make everyone like him again
MOSCOW—After receiving widespread condemnation for his invasion of Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin has opened up Russia's very own Uyghur...
BREAKING: Florida invades Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too
TALLAHASSEE—The state of Florida has invaded the sovereign nation of Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too. Florida also...
Hunter Biden promises to return his 2 Russian mail-order brides amidst sanctions
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's son Hunter promised to return his Russian mail-order brides amidst his father's sanctions on the country. "I...
CNN threatens to stop delivering fake news to Russia if they don’t withdraw from Ukraine
ATLANTA—The leader of fake news distribution in the West, CNN, is threatening to stop delivering their disinformation to Russia if...
Biden asks for $10 billion for ‘big, beautiful’ border wall for Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has asked Congress for $10 billion to build what he calls a "big, beautiful" border wall...
